LIBERTY CITY RANKED
WORST PLACE IN
AMERICA. AGAIN.
“Yesterday’s News Today”
Vol 2. Issue 1
ff ff
$1.00October 30, 1998
by Frenchie Cockmaven
It’s the prize no city wants to
win. e award no one wants.
Like a schoolboy informed he does
not play well with others, Liberty
City has once more been voted
“e least likely place to succeed
in America”. Eight out of the past
twelve years the city has won this
dubious accolade, and this year was
the first that the city topped the
bill in 6 out of 7 categories.
Liberty City was not “e city
where you were most likely to
get eaten by a wild animal” (that
dubious honor went to Los Santos)
but was considered the place you
were most likely to get mugged
or robbed, die of diseases caused
by pollution, be exposed to lethal
amounts of radiation, become
an alcoholic or drug addict, get
accidental gender re-alignment or
marry a relative.
City officials claimed “People
should not get so excited about
reports like this. e fact is our
town is a vibrant, energetic place
that people love. If you take a few
simple precautions, like wearing
a gasmask and having a full-time
military trained body guard, you
are just as safe and happy in Liberty
City as any other profoundly
dangerous urban environment.”
Mayor Hole was unavailable for
comment but is known to be a big
fan of the city, especially after the
fortune he made in local politics. ❖
“Liberty City has once more
been voted the least likely
place to succeed in America.”
CRIME ON RISE
Statistics To Blame Says Mayor, Mafia
see page 193
http://www.replacementdocs.com
http://www.replacementdocs.com
